


Thanksgiving

by assassin_inthe_scoutregiment



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Anxiety, Bucky Barnes - Freeform, F/M, Family Drama, Fanfiction, James Buchanan Barnes - Freeform, Pregnancy, The Winter Soldier - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-23 00:02:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16607978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/assassin_inthe_scoutregiment/pseuds/assassin_inthe_scoutregiment
Summary: Bucky and his wife return to her family home for Thanksgiving with some big news to announce to her family. Will her family take kindly to this news or will she and Bucky leave them behind?





	Thanksgiving

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hey y’all! I’m here writing for @sgtbuccky’s writing challenge on Tumblr! Just a head’s up this piece will be dealing with anxiety on the reader’s end. Please don’t read if you find stories with these things triggering to you. This is a Bucky x Reader, but the reader is based on myself, so apologies for any details that break up the reader-insert for you. 
> 
> Hopefully y’all enjoy!
> 
> My Prompt: Sometimes memories are the worst torture.

The cold always brought out either the worst or best in people. Cold weather was synonymous with Thanksgiving and Christmas, and these holidays often afforded folks the opportunities to be giving, caring, and happy for a brief reprieve from the toils of the rest of the year. The downside was dealing with those who the holidays turned into self-righteous pricks. 

All you’d wanted to do was go to Starbucks, get your peppermint mocha, and leave to finish up Christmas shopping. A simple request, really, but unfortunately the locals of your hometown valued their religion above the simplicity of leaving a store to operate. You’d received your peppermint mocha, but not without a thorough scolding from one particularly angry, middle-aged woman standing at the doors handing out pamphlets titled “Keep the CHRIST in CHRISTmas” and shouting to everyone who would listen that they were going to Hell for supporting a non-christian company. 

It’s not like your depression hadn’t already been rooting in heavily with the time change and pairing nicely with your anxiety which always worsened at the unnecessary amount of people out and about for the holidays. But, you’d made the idiotic decision to return home for Thanksgiving with your husband to see the family. 

It’s almost funny how being away from your family leaves you to romanticize them. Your dad’s rants about how the country is going to shit turn into him laughing at the anchors on FOX or CNN. Your mom’s tendency to be judgemental and passive-aggressive turns into concern for your well-being. Your older sister you haven’t spoken to in ages for several good reasons becomes the sister you lost contact with due to your busy schedule. Your younger sister and her boyfriend who’d done nothing but drag her down suddenly become the poster couple for what was good in the world instead of the promising veterinary student who gave it all away for a chance to have a boyfriend. But, they were your family, and you hadn’t seen them since this time last year, or so your mom continually reminded you. 

Making a Starbucks run had mainly been an excuse to get out of the house and breathe, never mind the fact that the closest Starbucks was a good forty-five minute drive from your parent’s home, and would take you away from them for a solid hour and a half, if not longer. You’d told your mom you’d just gotten used to having their coffee every day and just didn’t know if you could survive without it. She laughed off your excuse, never once thinking to call out your lie, and asked you to bring her back a bottle of wine or two to drink with dinner since you were running into town and all. You’d jumped on this opportunity to be away for an extra fifteen minutes, and decided to get coffee first. 

You jumped in the driver’s seat of your dad’s old work truck, slamming and locking the door behind you, tears welling up in your eyes. It was simple. You’d wanted coffee to breathe and take a reprieve from the chaos at the family home, without someone arguing, yelling, crying, telling you what to do, without all of the nonsense. Coffee was simple. It was hot, had a melodious aroma, and would bring you back to earth in just a few moments’ time. Coffee did nothing to add to your stress, but the woman shouting at the world her anger over Starbucks using ‘holiday cups’ instead of ‘Christmas cups’ had been the straw that broke the camel’s back, and now you couldn’t breathe. 

Bucky knew the look on your features the instant he saw you racing towards the truck from the store. The tinge of red around your eyes while your irises darted back and forth across the parking lot frantically, the way your cheeks puffed out as your involuntarily held your breath, and the rod-straight posture were all three dead giveaways. Bucky took the coffee cups from your grasp and set them in the cupholders then pulled up the middle seat. He cleared away the revolver, ammo, and lunch cake wrappers with a slight chuckle but quickly grabbed your hands and rubbed his thumbs over your knuckles. 

“Hey, Hey, listen to me.” His voice managed to break through enough for you to let loose the breath you’d been holding. “You’re okay. Breathe in-” Bucky took in a breath and nodded for your to do the same, “-and out.” He released the breath as you did. “Repeat after me, doll. My name is y/n Barnes.”

You glanced up at him, knowing exactly where he was going with this exercise. It’s something his counselor had suggested he do ages ago, and it helped him immensely to ground himself during a panic attack. Bucky had done this with you a handful of times before.

“My name is y/n Barnes.”

“I’m married to Bucky Barnes.” 

“I’m married to Bucky Barnes.” You repeated, your tone already beginning to even out. Bucky kissed your cheek, wiping away the tear tracks in the process. 

“My closest friend is Steve Rogers.” You recited his line again, this time breathing in evenly. 

“Okay, now list five things you can smell.”

You closed your eyes, focusing on the myriad scents littering your dad’s truck. The first, and most prevalent, was the coffee in your and Bucky’s cups.   
“Coffee.” You mumbled, searching for the next odor to gain your attention. “Diesel fumes.” Your voice was just a hair stronger this time. “Grease.” Every scent your dad carried on him was flooding you. This truck had been his since you were a child, and everything about it screamed him. “Horse fur and leather.” You opened your eyes to Bucky smiling softly. 

“You did amazing.” He simply commented, leaning in for another kiss, this one on your lips instead of the cheek. “What happened?” His question was simple, but everything in your brain yelled to break down again. 

“People.” You answered after a moment of contemplation. Between your family being shoved into a cramped house, people in general, and the Jesus warrior on her crusade, people seemed the obvious answer. “We shouldn’t have come home, Bucky. I forget how much they stress me out every time. I love them, but goddamn. Then the lady in there was telling me how I was going to Hell for drinking coffee from a godless establishment, and just people everywhere.” 

“You’d feel worse if you didn’t come home at all. You tore yourself up this summer when you didn’t come in when your niece was born. You know it would have eaten you alive if you hadn’t.” You wanted to scoff at your husband, but he was right. As frustrating as they were, you still loved all of them, and couldn’t wait to tell them yours and Bucky’s good news over dinner. “Switch me seats. I’ll drive us back, and you can take a few minutes to calm down before dinner.” You noticed the bottles of wine sitting on the floorboard that Bucky had evidently bought while you were battling Starbucks.

“Can you even drive stick?” A scowl crossed your husband’s face. 

“Doll, I was born in 1917. What do you think we drove back then?” With a laugh, and a smile crossing your cheeks, you gave your husband a quick kiss, traded him seats. Bucky shifted into first gear, and out of the parking lot you went. 

\-----

The house had calmed from the chaos once glasses of wine were passed to all adults in attendance, except for yourself who was drinking a glass of sparkling grape juice nearly as dark as everyone’s glass. A clever idea on your husband’s part to keep anyone from figuring out the news the two of you were going to announce before you deemed time. Your sisters knew you enjoyed your wine, and not drinking would undoubtedly throw a wrench in your plan. 

Bucky was sitting in the floor, a toddler on one side sticking magnets to his arm, and a six month old in his other arm who continually tried to pull his hair. You had braided his hair in hopes to avoid your younger niece doing just this, but she was persistent, and had managed to pull half of the braid out. Bucky leaned down and whispered in her ear, earning a giggle and chime of ‘Uncle Bucky, you silly goose’ from her. He was smiling from ear to ear and you couldn’t help but picture him playing with your own daughter like this, this time next year.   
“How’s New York?” Your younger sister, Elizabeth, asked, sitting down her wine for the first time in quite a while to pick up your older niece who was now requesting that both her aunts play with her and Uncle Bucky. The little blonde was in heaven with everyone together and willing to play. You sat down beside your husband and took the younger girl from him. 

“New York’s great. Stark is keeping me pretty busy, but, you know, needing environmental engineers is sort of a given when you see as much devastation as the team does.” The little girl was crawling between you and her other aunt, stopping only to giggle at her sister a few feet away. 

“You say ‘the team’ as if you don’t mean the Earth’s greatest defenders, and Stark like working on the same team as the Tony Stark like he’s your old drinking buddy.” She rolled a ball to the little one making her way across the carpet. 

“To be fair, Tony Stark is my old drinking buddy. We’ve shared more than a few night’s dilemmas over booze, especially when I was still a grad student.” The little one crawled into your lap. You kissed the top of her head, and pulled a nearby toy over for her to play with. 

“Your life is so cool. I just have the barn and Kyle.” She chuckled under her breath. “But I’m happy with the quiet life. You never did like the quiet much.” 

“Nah. It’s just not my style. In NY, I can stay up half the night with music on high while I work through whatever problem I’ve run into, and nobody cares. There’s even this place that delivers cookies and coffee in the middle of the night. They have mine and Tony’s numbers memorized. The loudness is freedom. I can be who I want, say what I want, and not be looked down on for being a woman in science instead of one at home . This area is just suffocating.” 

Elizabeth started to speak again, but was cut off by your mom announcing dinner was done. You quickly jumped up, picked up your niece, and carried her to the kitchen while Bucky did the same with the older girl. 

\-----

Dinner was going smoothly so far. Your older sister, Jaqueline, wasn’t passed out on the couch, and was actually being attentive to her daughters. Your dad had managed to stay away from politics and religion with everyone. Your mom was helping your older sister feed her girls. Elizabeth and her boyfriend were staying fairly quiet, only joining the conversations periodically. Bucky gripped your hand as you pulled up an ultrasound picture on your phone to show your parents. He was nothing but smiles and quiet excitement. 

“Hey now, no phones at the dinner table!” Your mom playfully scolded you before you could show her the picture. 

“Yeah, y/n. No phones.” Jaqueline snatched the device right from your hands and set it in the center of the table. Bucky grumbled softly, but you laughed it off. Your family would surely be excited no matter when you told them. 

“So, Bucky, how has the future been treating you?” Your dad ended his conversation with your younger sister, and turned his attention to your husband. “Y/n doesn’t stay on the phone long enough for me to ask normally.” Your eyes rolled involuntarily. 

“It’s nice. There’s indoor heating, cooling, and plumbing. The food is so much better now. The internet is amazing. What I would have given to have Web MD when Steve was sick back in the thirties. But y/n has to be the best part. She’s so helpful, with everything. She’s always there when I need her, and is a godsend for figuring out the world.” Bucky took a bit of his turkey. “This is amazing, ma’am.” He mumbled to your mom while sticking another piece in his mouth. She thanked him and went back to feeding the little one.

“We like to think she’s amazing, too. Any plans for the future? I’d say with the aliens gone, and Hydra destroyed, you two can start thinking about settling down.” You squeezed Bucky’s thigh. This would be the perfect moment to tell them. 

“Well, actually, yeah.” He replied with a smile. You snatched your phone and pulled up the picture again. 

“What plans would those be? Surely you’re not planning on kids anytime soon, not until they know what all Hydra did do him, right?” Your older sister piped in. You locked your phone and dropped it on the table. 

“And what if those plans do involve kids? He’s no different than Steve, and you guys applauded him when he and Sharon announced their son last month.” You snapped back at her. 

“Captain America is a different story. Bucky was taken prisoner for, like, a century. Who knows what they did to him. What if your kids are super messed up?” The table stilled, quiet save for the toddler asking her grandma for a drink of water. You stood up, sending the chair flying behind you. Bucky jumped up with you, glaring at your sister. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Bucky rested a hand on your back, rubbing softly.

It wasn’t like this wasn’t a real concern the two of you had, especially when your little one first appeared so very unexpectedly. If anything, this was a reasonable concern, but she had the audacity to use the words ‘messed up’. 

“Exactly what I said. There’s loads of horror stories about POW’s kids being screwed up because of experiments from the Nazi’s.” 

“You’re one to talk.” Elizabeth interrupted, earning a glare from the older one. “You made both of these girls high as a kite and drunk as a skunk. You’re lucky they’ve not had any problems, because they are far more likely to than what Bucky and y/n’s are.” 

“How dare you? My girls are perfect!” She shouted in defense, despite the truth in the younger one’s words. 

“Girls!” Your mom attempted to disrupt the knock-down, drag-out fight quickly pending. 

“Only by God’s good graces they are.” Elizabeth spat back. 

“Why on Earth would you say something like that, Jacki? Don’t you think we’ve already thought that through, and weighed our options? Buck’s been through the wringer enough already, he’s had every imaginable genetic test ran, and we know exactly what the chances are. And guess what, they’re not any different from any other healthy baby, or any baby at all!” You unlocked your phone and showed her the picture. “Happy fucking Thanksgiving. You’re going to be an aunt.” 

At some point tears had begun to stream down your face. Bucky held you tight, placing your head right above his heart. 

“C’mon. Let’s head to the hotel, doll.” His voice cracked, prompting you to look up. Bucky’s eyes had a storm brewing behind them. Whether they threatened tears or fury, you weren’t quite sure. “Elizabeth, would you care to run us to the hotel so Jim doesn’t have to follow us in to get the truck back?” Your sister agreed.

“I don’t get what the big deal is? It’s an honest concern.” Jacki blocked Elizabeth’s path to the door. She turned on her heel and walked the opposite direction around the table to the door. 

“Because I never said those things to you when you announced your pregnancies, Jacki. You do what you can to make sure your baby is loved and taken care of regardless.” You separated from Bucky long enough to plant a kiss on both of your nieces heads, and bid your mom and dad farewell. “Jacki, I pray you never meet another soul as rude as yourself.” 

The truck ride was quiet. Jacki’s words were racing through your mind, and you were regretting coming home for Thanksgiving even more. Her acting like this wasn’t anything new. Your sister had always found fault in anything you said, did, or wanted to do. When you said you would be moving for college, she said you’d come crying back home. When you said you were dating Bucky, she said you were insane for ever wanting to be with someone (who was, at the time) so very unstable. When you married him, she prattled on about how the wedding should have been more ornate and over the top since he was an Avenger and all. When you’d said you’d taken an internship with Tony Stark, she said you’d get nowhere without sleeping with him. She was never in your corner, and this crossed a line.   
Bucky was equally quiet., though he was sound asleep, giving you ample time to overthink every decision you’d made up to now. You’d agreed early on in your relationship you didn’t plan on kids for the reasons Jacki had so kindly pointed out, despite you and Bucky both wanting them. But then you’d had one night where you’d gotten caught up in the moment, and neither of you were willing to part with her. You’d been vigilant in attending doctors appointments and ensuring you would be prepared for any news the doctors gave you. Luckily, Hydra hadn’t managed to muck up this part of Bucky’s life, and you were incredibly thankful that your daughter wouldn’t face uncertainties due to the Nazi scum. 

The Nazi scum is exactly why Bucky was squirming under the sheets with a pained expression on his face. It was rare anymore that he had nightmares from his Winter Soldier days, but sometimes things would trigger them. Today, you fully believed, your sister had caused them. 

“Bucky, wake up.” You shook him lightly. He didn’t always rise from these dreams. Normally he had to suffer through them, breaking your heart along the way. His voice broke with mumbled no’s in various languages, only two of which you recognized, and a handful more you’d figured out over the couple years you’d known him. “Buck.” You shook him a little harder. Bucky flew up, arms flailing away from his body. “Hey, hey, Bucky, you’re safe. You’re with me. It’s just a nightmare.”

You wrapped your arms around his midsection, leaving a trail of kisses across his bare chest. He needed physical comfort to calm down, and this had always proved effective. Bucky’s eyes were still wild, though he was calming. Your daughter decided it was time for her nightly gymnastics, which gave you the perfect idea. Bucky reached his hand out towards your face, looking for something to hold on to. You took his palm and placed it on your stomach where the little one was wiggling about. Bucky’s entire body relaxed instantly. 

“You know, of everything they did to me, sometimes memories are the worst torture.” He paused, taking in a breath. “Your sister-”

“Jacki is an absolute piece of trash on the best of days.” You cut him off, earning a slight scowl from Bucky.

“But what she said is true, doll.” The baby decided to kick harder, gaining his attention. Bucky looked down to your stomach. You weren’t showing too much yet, but were enough to notice. “What if I’ve hurt her without ever meaning too? I know SHIELD’s run test after test, but what if there’s something they did that can’t be tested for? Or what if someone comes along and uses me against you two? Jacki’s right.” Tears welled in his blue eyes, threatening to spill if you let him go on much longer. 

Yes, these were all legitimate concerns, but you had contingency plans in place for all of them. Genetic problems caused by Hydra scientists? You went to a doctor once a week for regular scans and check ups. Someone knows how to flip the Winter Soldier’s switch? There are several reasons the two of you shared a large house with Steve and Sharon, one of them being Steve could handle whatever Bucky managed to throw at him. On top of these precautions, you already had one of the top OBGYN’s in the country ready to deliver your daughter, and a team of surgeons recommended by Stephen Strange himself in case things went wrong. Everything was under control. 

“Bucky, breathe.” You instructed, breathing deeply in yourself. He released the breath. “Listen, you know we have everything figured out. Don’t let Jacki get to you. Her life choices haven’t been the greatest, and she has no say on how our lives turn out. Our lives, and our daughter’s, are at the mercy of our own actions. She will be fine, you will be fine, we will be fine.” 

Bucky patted the pillows behind you, gesturing for you to lay down. You did so and wiggled the blankets down your body. Bucky laid his head on your chest, resting his hands over your abdomen. Your hands found their way to his hair, and tousled it, wiggling the dark strands between your fingers. 

“I love you, you know.” He whispered. To you , or to your stomach, you weren’t quite sure, but said replied with the same. Bucky stayed like this for some time, whispering to your daughter as your eyes slowly shut. 

\--- One Year Later ---

Thanksgiving had come around once again, this time with friends gathering in your home to celebrate the holiday. Bucky and Steve tended to the kids, keeping your daughter and Steve’s son occupied and out from under your feet. Their giggles and squeals could be heard throughout the house, and you gladly left the kitchen door open to listen in on their shenanigans. 

She looked just like him. Dark hair, bright blue eyes, and a smile that can melt even the coldest of hearts. She was perfectly healthy and happy, against all of your sister’s concerns. Little Sarah loved spending time with her daddy and Uncle Steve above all else, and had them wrapped around her little finger already. The man and girl playing in the living room were your entire world, and for this you couldn’t be more thankful.


End file.
